In Our Dreams We Are Able To Fly

"In our dreams we are able to fly and that is a remembering of how we were meant to be." Madeleine L'Engle

I learned this saying years ago as it was embedded into one of my mom's works of art. It has stuck with me ever since.

Have you ever dreamed you could fly?

I have dreamed I could fly since I was young.

In my dreams I hover the ground mimicking a standing position, but floating forward, always forward and rising ever higher.

It is an effortless, leisurely, peaceful-kind of fly. No wings; I just think and I go.

Most lately I have not had dreams or "memories" of this happening. This memory has been replaced by a deep and very real desire. My soul looks to the sky to see it open. My spirit longs to ascend and go home.

How long, oh Lord, must your people wait?

There is an intense longing growing in the hearts of those who are saved. Have you felt it? This desire is spilling out in everyday conversation. Strangers bring up their longings which validate my own.

Something big is happening, and you and I are in the middle of it. The things that are coming are things of our nightmares. Terrible things of our imagination on this earth.

But to those who have believed and are saved, there remains a blessed hope of Jesus Christ returning in the sky to take us home. (Titus 2:12-13)

Lord, come quickly.

Amen.

The Things We Live For

We have had a busy week, and so much more is planned.

This week alone…

Our beautiful children have gotten to go and see the chickens and hear the roosters crow up close and personal. Twice. Jonah wasn’t sure if he was safe when he heard the roosters crow, but finally decided it was okay.

Micah and Lydia got to see the ever-exciting, elusive Longmire, a baby peacock who is just starting to grow his feathers long and proud like his dad.

Our whole family took a picnic breakfast down to Spring Creek with the Grammy. Micah and Lydia ate an entire bag of Donnetts by themselves, save two lonely donuts, and also munched on cookies. Lydia walked around in Spring Creek, while Jonah waded his little feet. I waded in while carrying Micah and we saw the little fish and crawdads. Twenty five years ago my mother took me to the shores of this same creek for a similar unhealthy, delicious breakfast, and I am so grateful to have gotten to take my babies there for the first time in their lives as well.

Oh, but that is not all we have done this week…

The whole family went to Meremac Springs at my dad’s suggestion. Once there, we had a pizza picnic under a pavilion during the pouring rain. A giant thunder shook the pavilion, and our brave babies awed at God’s wonder. The downpour started once we were safely under our pavilion, and it cleared up just as we finished eating. (God is good!)

We walked all over Mermac Springs that day: around the spring and under the cave, by the hatchery and through the museum. The children fed the fish, saw some SNAKES, and slid down a slide as many times as their dad could stand. Jonah didn’t sleep until we were headed back to the car. Everything was too exciting.

But that’s still not all our children have gotten to do and see…

Yesterday Micah and Lydia got to meet up with their friends at MOPs, and they were each surprised with new books and toys when they woke up from their naps (Goodwill specials).

And then today I took all three kids to a strawberry patch and let them pick strawberries to their hearts’ contents. Micah carried a little basket, and Lydia tried to carry a giant tray. We saw more roosters and goats. A chicken walked right up to the kids and almost let them touch her. We played on playground equipment and then headed home to feast on a snack of fresh strawberries. (Ten times better than the strawberries you buy at the store.) We also made a cake.

All this and it’s only Wednesday… What other fun things are planned for this week?

Tomorrow, the children have a play date with several other families at a park, and on Friday, they will play with friends at the YMCA before coming home for a very long nap. Because Friday night, the family has BIG plans…

Friday night, we will all watch a movie together and then camp out in the sunroom. We will have a playroom picnic, make smores, and read stories. Nobody is expected to go to sleep before midnight if they don’t want to. Our little babies get to stay up late and look at the stars. We will listen to the critters of the night: frogs, crickets, and owls and maybe take a walk in the cool of God’s night.

These are the things that should make up our lives. Our gracious Lord has given us this beautiful earth to enjoy. But how often do we destine to enjoy it? Instead, how often are we too overworked, overstressed, or overwhelmed to intentionally enjoy these creations?

This week my children have enjoyed the Lord’s creations of nature, family, friends, and wonder; and I have gotten to enjoy all of these things right along with them because these are the things we live for.

Waiting for a Call

I once wrote a post about waiting patiently. I thought I had learned how to wait patiently and maybe- during that time of my life- I had.

But now I find myself waiting again.

I have an eerie peace as I wait- savoring what could be a last few minutes or hours of blissful ignorance. And maybe I won’t know anything until tomorrow anyway.

What’s wrong with our son?

With two pediatricians, two specialists and a third on the way, fifteen tests and a promise of more to come, I am waiting for the first ten of Jonah’s results.

What do we do as we anxiously await the trials in our lives?

Through all the trials in these last couple of years and even now, only one verse comes to mind: “Be still and know that I am God…” Psalms 46:10

And so I sit. Still. Waiting… for something.

Verses don’t come to mind and songs don’t either. Explanations? Answers? I don’t have either. But, questions? There are too many questions to remember.

I know God loves me and he loves my son. Why else was our little boy so large when he was born? Before he was born, the doctor said he was small… only a six pound baby, but he was visibly shocked when a 9 pound baby popped out in his hands! We all laughed at his reaction to the beast of a baby that was born! God knew how precious those extra pounds and ounces would become during the next few months of Jonah’s life, and he graciously provided them for him. Thank you, God.

I am grateful and awed, but worried for the reason(s) to come.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 

 Thank you for this reminder, Mommy. Those in Christ wait patiently, while those without him wait anxiously.

A Message To Believers

The Lord is coming again!!

He is returning for his people, and we must be ready!

Look around. And be aware of these signs that God has given this generation:

"Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written in it, for the time is near."
 Revelation 1:3

"Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you"
 Revelation 3:3

"For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places."
 Matthew 24:7

"There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilences. And there will be terrors and great signs from heaven."
 Luke 21:11

"And there will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth distress of nations in perplexity because of the roaring of the sea and the waves,"
 Luke 21:25

"The sun shall be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes."
 Joel 2:31

"...Many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall increase."
 Daniel 12:4b

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."
 2 Timothy 3:1-5

 "Now the spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons,"
 1 Timothy 4:1

"...scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires. They will say, "Where is the promise of his coming?"..."
 2 Peter 3:3b-4a

"Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions... before that great and terrible day of the Lord arrives."
Joel 2:28b-31b

"And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
 Matthew 24:14

"Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."
 Luke 21:28

"Watch ye therefore, and pray always that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man."
 Luke 21:36

 The end is coming, and I believe it is coming very soon. No man, angel, or even Jesus knows the date that the Lord will return, but God instructed his believers to be watchful and to know the season of his return.

"From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see all these things, you know that he is near at the very gates. Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place."

 Matthew 24:32-34

We are in the season of the end times, my friends, and while we prepare for these terrifying and glorious days ahead (to quote from Jan Markell), "let us always look back and thank him, look around and serve him, look ahead and trust him, and look up and expect him."

Do not be caught unaware and become one of the ones who are left behind.

Butterfly Kisses

A Song You Had Played At Your Wedding

I was looking back at old posts and realized I had never finished a list of post ideas that I had started over a year ago. I still have the list of post ideas saved to my computer, so I will continue them tonight because I am home without a husband, and one of  my kids is on vacation. I had a nap today and am not ready for bed.

One song I always wanted to have played at my wedding was Bob Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses.

I remember sitting at my dad's work. I had a Bob Carlisle tape, and I had a black tape player with earphones. I repeatedly went up to my dad while he was trying to get work done and asked him to fix my tape that had come unraveled while I rewound it again and again to listen to my favorite song.

My dad wouldn't let me listen to that song around him. He said he couldn't listen to it without tearing up. I always teased him that I was going to play that song at my wedding, and then he'd have to listen to it in front of me!

Well, the time for the wedding came. I couldn't find a place in the program for this song, but an eight year old girl doesn't think of that... At 20, I didn't really think the song went along with the theme of a wedding... except that one verse...

But it had to be played.

Josh was a good sport. He didn't care what songs I chose. So we both awkwardly stood in front of a church filled with people and listened to my favorite childhood song being played in front of my dad... I never knew if he choked up or not.

I don't have any regrets about playing this semi-untraditional song at my wedding. My daddy gave me away that day, and this song was my gift to him: a childhood promise fulfilled. 

Ode to Sandquist

Well, I'm not really going to write a song, but it would be fitting.

My dad called yesterday to tell me that my most beloved teacher of all time was retiring: Jeff Sandquist.

I feel sad.

I joined Mr. Sandquist's choir class in the middle of my eighth grade school year, and made sure I was in his class every year after. I loved him so much that I actually took three of his classes during my senior year.

Mr. Sandquist had some of the most awkward, misfit students join his choirs, and just like me, they never left. I believe they always stayed because Mr. Sandquist gave them value.

During my first semester in choir, our class went to some sort of regional workshop. One Saturday we practiced with a choir of students from all over the area for eight hours or so. At the end of the workshop, our massive choir gave an amazing performance to all of our parents.

One song had a solo. I auditioned from our choir, and Mr. Sandquist chose ME to head to the final round of auditions against all of the other schools' finalists.

Guess who won.

At the end of the concert we sang a song: I hear liberty singing. Her song of freedom is ringing, from shore to shore, stronger than before! I hear liberty singing.

I stood at the center of the top riser while all of the other choir members kneeled down on either side of me and lifted both hands up toward me... an enormous flag spread behind us all and a spotlight lighted me up while I sang my solo into a microphone.

Thank you, Mr. Sandquist, for this wonderful memory of mine. It certainly sounds like a dream.

You never knew what kind of a mood Mr. Sandquist was going to be in. Sometimes he'd come stomping into class aggravated about this or that... didn't he know his students just thought this was hilarious?? Well, it never stopped me from smiling. My grin, positioned smack dab in the middle of his face, probably only made his aggravation worse.

Thank you, Mr. Sandquist for the many trips you took your choirs on, and for encouraging us to compete in state competitions. To this day, I still regret that I did not take your advice and sing Ava Maria at my last competition. Thank you for making song fun and for beautifully directing your squirrelly students. Thank you for taking a stand and teaching your students songs about God.

You were certainly a teacher and a man who went above and beyond the call of duty for his students. Thank you for your time and effort in each of the lives of all of your students.

Your potential, future students will never know what they have missed, and your past students, I'm sure, are nothing but grateful to have had you.

ENJOY YOUR RETIREMENT!!

Preparing for Preschool

In about half an hour I am going on my very first tour of a preschool.

Is it really time for this already?

I am so blessed to be able to spend all of my days at home with my children. I would not have it any other way; but that being said, I am always ready to drop them off at the nursery at church or with my wonderful mother once a month. Because I get to see so much of Micah, I have been looking forward to preschool for a year...

But now it's time to actually select a school and get him enrolled. He will be starting next fall.

My heart feels broken.

When I was looking at preschool options last year I saw three options: two days a week, three days a week, and five days a week. I was all about that five day option back then... now I'm just leaning towards three.

There are two things I am most grateful for about having children:

1) They are excellent little teachers, if we are humble enough to learn, and
2) They say the cutest, sweetest, funniest things.

But there is one part of parenthood that is brand new to me today...
The pain of letting your children go and grow.

It's something experienced mothers often try to warn young mothers about that we just can't grasp or imagine.

I don't know what it will be like to take my boy to school on his first day with his little backpack falling off his shoulder as he timidly walks through the long white halls of a strange, new place. And then leaving him there. With strangers.

But I do know that within a week or two he will be running down those halls filled with his colored creations. His backpack will be forgotten in the car- that's how great his excitement will be to start his day.

So our pain as mothers only needs to be temporary as we watch our children grow and go... then we can decide to embrace the joys of their new, changed life and share it with them.

I am excited for Micah to start preschool. He absolutely loves learning... although I'm not sure what he's going to learn there- seems to me like he ought to be starting a kindergarten curriculum- he is so smart!