This life is hard to live.
We are born into sin. It is our nature, and it’s our preference. Our sin
is easy.
Last week, our preacher said that there was no sin so big that God
couldn’t forgive it. I was unsettled, and I wanted to scream out, “You’re wrong!!
My sin is bigger!”
And don’t we all feel like that some times? My sin is bigger because it
is always there. Recurring, frequent, habitual sin. How can God forgive again?
Why would he forgive again? How can he forgive if there was never any true
repentance in the first place?
How many times have I flippantly ask God for
forgiveness for one of my recurring sins? If I have not truly repented from my
sin- I mean, truly turned away from it to never do that sin again… have I still
been forgiven?
The easy answer is yes. The “Christian” answer is yes.
But I’m writing this post, so obviously I’m still wondering.
God says, “I know all the things you do, that you are
neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither
hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!” Revelation 3:15-16
Am I lukewarm if I say I’m a Christian but have never truly repented of
my sins? What about if I ask God for forgiveness because I really want His
blessing on my life, but don’t really want to do my part to stop doing those
sins I’ve come to enjoy?
I have said it before, but it’s worth
mentioning again: I am like Paul when he said in Romans 7:14-25,
“…the trouble is
not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I
am all too human, a slave to sin.
I don’t
really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.
Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong,
this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that
does it.
And I know
that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what
is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I
don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not
really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
I have
discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I
inevitably do what is wrong.
I love God’s law with all my
heart. But there is another power within me that is
at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still
within me."
I am still learning what God’s grace is all about, but I like this
writing from Paul. It gives me hope that God can still love a flawed and sinful
human such as myself. And I guess that is
the definition of God’s grace: that He loves us anyway- even though we don’t
deserve it- even though we can’t obtain it- even though we are still ruled by
our own sin while we are still on this earth.
Thank you, God, for sending your son so that someday we might live with
you forever in Heaven. You will be the ruler of all instead of our sin. I thank
you for your sacrifice. I thank you for your patience. I thank you for your
words of instruction, and I thank you for your revelation. You are good, kind,
just, and holy.
Help me learn how to praise you and accept your forgiveness without
guilt. It’s in your son, Jesus’, most precious name I pray, Amen!
