Butterfly Kisses

A Song You Had Played At Your Wedding

I was looking back at old posts and realized I had never finished a list of post ideas that I had started over a year ago. I still have the list of post ideas saved to my computer, so I will continue them tonight because I am home without a husband, and one of  my kids is on vacation. I had a nap today and am not ready for bed.

One song I always wanted to have played at my wedding was Bob Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses.

I remember sitting at my dad's work. I had a Bob Carlisle tape, and I had a black tape player with earphones. I repeatedly went up to my dad while he was trying to get work done and asked him to fix my tape that had come unraveled while I rewound it again and again to listen to my favorite song.

My dad wouldn't let me listen to that song around him. He said he couldn't listen to it without tearing up. I always teased him that I was going to play that song at my wedding, and then he'd have to listen to it in front of me!

Well, the time for the wedding came. I couldn't find a place in the program for this song, but an eight year old girl doesn't think of that... At 20, I didn't really think the song went along with the theme of a wedding... except that one verse...

But it had to be played.

Josh was a good sport. He didn't care what songs I chose. So we both awkwardly stood in front of a church filled with people and listened to my favorite childhood song being played in front of my dad... I never knew if he choked up or not.

I don't have any regrets about playing this semi-untraditional song at my wedding. My daddy gave me away that day, and this song was my gift to him: a childhood promise fulfilled. 

Ode to Sandquist

Well, I'm not really going to write a song, but it would be fitting.

My dad called yesterday to tell me that my most beloved teacher of all time was retiring: Jeff Sandquist.

I feel sad.

I joined Mr. Sandquist's choir class in the middle of my eighth grade school year, and made sure I was in his class every year after. I loved him so much that I actually took three of his classes during my senior year.

Mr. Sandquist had some of the most awkward, misfit students join his choirs, and just like me, they never left. I believe they always stayed because Mr. Sandquist gave them value.

During my first semester in choir, our class went to some sort of regional workshop. One Saturday we practiced with a choir of students from all over the area for eight hours or so. At the end of the workshop, our massive choir gave an amazing performance to all of our parents.

One song had a solo. I auditioned from our choir, and Mr. Sandquist chose ME to head to the final round of auditions against all of the other schools' finalists.

Guess who won.

At the end of the concert we sang a song: I hear liberty singing. Her song of freedom is ringing, from shore to shore, stronger than before! I hear liberty singing.

I stood at the center of the top riser while all of the other choir members kneeled down on either side of me and lifted both hands up toward me... an enormous flag spread behind us all and a spotlight lighted me up while I sang my solo into a microphone.

Thank you, Mr. Sandquist, for this wonderful memory of mine. It certainly sounds like a dream.

You never knew what kind of a mood Mr. Sandquist was going to be in. Sometimes he'd come stomping into class aggravated about this or that... didn't he know his students just thought this was hilarious?? Well, it never stopped me from smiling. My grin, positioned smack dab in the middle of his face, probably only made his aggravation worse.

Thank you, Mr. Sandquist for the many trips you took your choirs on, and for encouraging us to compete in state competitions. To this day, I still regret that I did not take your advice and sing Ava Maria at my last competition. Thank you for making song fun and for beautifully directing your squirrelly students. Thank you for taking a stand and teaching your students songs about God.

You were certainly a teacher and a man who went above and beyond the call of duty for his students. Thank you for your time and effort in each of the lives of all of your students.

Your potential, future students will never know what they have missed, and your past students, I'm sure, are nothing but grateful to have had you.

ENJOY YOUR RETIREMENT!!

Preparing for Preschool

In about half an hour I am going on my very first tour of a preschool.

Is it really time for this already?

I am so blessed to be able to spend all of my days at home with my children. I would not have it any other way; but that being said, I am always ready to drop them off at the nursery at church or with my wonderful mother once a month. Because I get to see so much of Micah, I have been looking forward to preschool for a year...

But now it's time to actually select a school and get him enrolled. He will be starting next fall.

My heart feels broken.

When I was looking at preschool options last year I saw three options: two days a week, three days a week, and five days a week. I was all about that five day option back then... now I'm just leaning towards three.

There are two things I am most grateful for about having children:

1) They are excellent little teachers, if we are humble enough to learn, and
2) They say the cutest, sweetest, funniest things.

But there is one part of parenthood that is brand new to me today...
The pain of letting your children go and grow.

It's something experienced mothers often try to warn young mothers about that we just can't grasp or imagine.

I don't know what it will be like to take my boy to school on his first day with his little backpack falling off his shoulder as he timidly walks through the long white halls of a strange, new place. And then leaving him there. With strangers.

But I do know that within a week or two he will be running down those halls filled with his colored creations. His backpack will be forgotten in the car- that's how great his excitement will be to start his day.

So our pain as mothers only needs to be temporary as we watch our children grow and go... then we can decide to embrace the joys of their new, changed life and share it with them.

I am excited for Micah to start preschool. He absolutely loves learning... although I'm not sure what he's going to learn there- seems to me like he ought to be starting a kindergarten curriculum- he is so smart!

Can Christ Do Anything?

" For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

Romans 12:4

"For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ... God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body... Now, you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."

1 Corinthians 12:12-27

Let me repeat that:

"...you are the body of Christ..."

1 Corinthians 12:27

One song I have always loved and that has always encouraged me to do more for other people is Casting Crown's If We Are the Body.

I believe in a God who can do anything. I believe in a God who can and does work miracles. I believe Jesus is not only God's son, but that he IS God, and that he can do anything that we wishes to do as well. That being said, even though I believe Jesus can do anything, I do not always believe that he will. 

Jesus had the power not to die on the cross. He didn't want to, yet he choose to do his Father's will over his own. (Matthew 26:39)

Born again believers in Christ make up his body. We have the power to obey what God, the Bible, or the Holy Spirit tell us to do. When we obey, we are representing Christ to other people. We ARE Christ's hands and feet. 

How often does God tell us to do something and we refuse? I hope my heart doesn't stop beating because it doesn't want to do what it was created to do anymore... I hope that someday my body doesn't wither away into a paralyzed state where my mind is still perfectly active- What misery to have all the mind and will-power in the world to tell your body what you want it to do, but because of one reason or another the body simply cannot respond. It will not obey.

I believe Christians figuratively paralyze Christ on a daily basis. 

We don't obey because what Christ demands seems foolish to us. In doing this, we tie his hands from doing HIS good work (not our good work) and also from spreading the gospel, which is essentially the love of Christ. 

When is the church going to wake up and start obeying Christ? When are we going to start acting like his body instead of our own? 

I do not believe Christ can do anything through a body of believers who is unwilling to sacrifice their wants and comfort to a master who's will might be very different than their own. 

It's time to wake up and start functioning like the true body of Christ. Won't you un-paralyze God's son and allow him to work through you in the lives of others?

Are You Saved?

We are doing a wonderful series at our church called The Story. The Story is a book that simply tells the story of the Bible in a chronological, easy-to-understand way. I really enjoyed the sermon our preacher taught on Sunday titled Jesus, the Son of God.

The Bible is absolutely filled with revelation about who Jesus is. God tells us at least twelve times himself who Jesus is. He doesn't just speak up during that one lonely account of Jesus' baptism.

Jesus also tells us at least 20 times who he is... and these are just the examples given to us by our preacher. I assume there are more than just 20 revelations of who Jesus says he is in the Bible.

Our preacher went on to challenge us if we knew who Jesus was. So many people believe that they are right with God, but that they don't really need Jesus. People say they don't know who Jesus is, but that they are very spiritual- God speaks to them in many ways, except through his Son.

People believe that the story of Jesus is a good one, but that it doesn't really apply to their lives. I like the story of the Chronicles of Narnia. I want my children to read it, and know it and love the characters in it, just like me. But their love for the story does not change or effect their lives. My love for the story does not change or affect my life, and your love for the story does not change or affect your life either.

At what point are we saved? When we love the story of Jesus Christ coming to die on the cross for our sins and resurrecting as our perfect atonement, or when we allow that story to transform our lives forever?

1 John 2:23a says, "No one who denies the Son has the Father." 

Do you deny the Son? Is Jesus Christ a real, contributing, essential part of  your life, or is he just part of a good story? Does his presence in your life change the way you live? Loving Jesus should change the way we live every day. It should be the guiding force in every single daily decision we make.

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare to them, ' I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." 

Matthew 7:21-23

Who do YOU say that Jesus is?

Are YOU Rapture Ready?

A week or two ago Josh and I were headed out of town and we left about half an hour later than I had originally wanted to, but I felt extremely satisfied while we were pulling away from our house because I felt like our house was "Rapture Ready." If we were suddenly caught up in the clouds with Jesus while we were away, every room, every closet, and every drawer was perfectly organized. All the floors had been cleaned.

I told my mom about my silly since of pride about having the house "Rapture Ready" while we were away. She laughed and asked why in the world I cared what my house looked like if I was GONE with Jesus if the rapture really did occur while we were away.

Well, pride. Who knows how many strangers would go poking around through our things scavenging what they could if the rapture really did happen while we were away. I, at least, wanted those strangers to think, "Wow, this woman really had her stuff together! I wish my house was this clean!"

And then I thought... even though my house is ready for a rapture, is my heart? If the rapture really happened this week, would I be one of the ones taken up into Heaven with all the other believers? Maybe I should spend less time making sure my  house is "Rapture Ready" every night before I go to bed and more time making sure that my heart is.

But concerning that day and  hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only... Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left. Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming... the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Matthew 24:36, 40-42, 44b (ESV)

Not only should we make sure that we are ready for Christ's imminent return, but we need to make sure that we are sharing the gospel with others on a daily basis. We cannot save people; only God has the power to change hearts. Our job is simply to tell people about Jesus, God's plan of salvation, and our future in Heaven for eternity. Our job is to answer questions about the Bible.

What if every single believer shared the gospel every day... What if we all lived a life that resembled Jesus... On that glorious day, how many men would be left behind standing in the field, and how many women would be left behind standing at the mill? It is our job to make sure we are "Rapture Ready," and it is our job to make sure that every other person on this earth is equipped with the opportunity to become "Rapture Ready" too. It is not somebody else's job to witness to the people YOU know and come into contact with daily. It is your job. It is my job. God bless you believers who are living out this call.

On Memorization

I wanted to write a post about the importance of memorizing scripture in our Bibles. So many of us complain about how hard it is to memorize anything, let alone verses or chapters from our Bibles.

Are we aware that Jewish children memorize the Torah by heart? This is a tradition that has lasted thousands of years. The Torah is not just five verses from the Bible. It's not just five chapters; it's five BOOKS. It is everything written in the first 213 pages of my Bible.

Memorize THAT.

Sometimes I look at my husband shocked when he starts singing along with a new song on the radio that I have never even heard. How does he have some song memorized that I've never even heard before!? Well, he listens to the radio any time he is in the car. I don't. But look how quickly those songs on the radio become engrained in our memory. We don't TRY to memorize them, we just do. It is effortless, an achievement of the subconscious.

In America, Bibles are extremely readily available. If a Bible isn't available, there's an app for that. Google searches find scripture in seconds; there's not even really a need for a good concordance anymore. So why put scripture to memory?

There are several reasons why I think scripture should be put to memory. First, it is the only tangible thing God has given mankind that is eternal. Everything else in this world will perish and burn up in the end days, but God's holy word will remain forever. Our bodies are part of this world, but if we are Christians, our spirits are part of an eternal world. The Bible offers our spirits the spiritual food they need to survive: God's eternal word.

Second, I do not believe Bibles are always going to be available in this country. Why would Americans think that our religion would never be attacked when religion is banned in so many other countries around the world? It is only a matter of time. I believe it is important to have as much of the scriptures committed to memory as we can before we are no longer allowed to own them.

The following is a list of countries where Christianity is restricted, and the owning of a Bible could have an individual arrested, tortured, or put to death. Christians living in these countries hunger and thirst for the word of God and it is the biggest request rising out from the members of the underground churches that exist there.

Mexico
Cuba
Columbia
Mauritania
Morocco
Mali
Nigeria
Tunisia
Libya
Egypt
Sudan
South Sudan
Eritea
Ethiopia
Somalia
Comoros
Yemen
Oman
United Arab Emirates
Qatar
Bahrain
Saudi Arabia
Kuwait
Iraq
Jordan
Gaza and the West Bank
Lebanon
Syria
Turkey
Belarus
Azerbaijan
Iran
Turkmenistan
Uzbekistan
Kazakhstan
Afghanistan
Pakistan
Tajikistan
Kyrgyzstan
India
Maldives
Sri Lanka
Nepal
Tibet
Bangladesh
Bhutan
China
Burma
Laos
Malaysia
Vietnam
Indonesia
Brunei
Mindanao (Philippines)
North Korea

When owning even one verse of the word of God is punishable by death in so many of these countries, why would we ever think for a second that our great America would not come subject to this type of persecution? Why are we not preparing ourselves for the spiritual battle at hand when the only sword God has given us is his word. When society takes his word out of our hands, how are we to defend ourselves against the evil one? It will only be the verses we commit to memory now that will defend us in those days.

So I encourage you now to make a new commitment to yourself and God. Stop easily memorizing songs, jingles, slogans, and useless  pop culture facts when that memory could be better used for retaining real spiritual food that will defeat the evil one.

My Chidren Are Not My Own

Isn't it amazing to think about how our children are not our own?

You and I have very little control over what happens in our lives. Weather a person believes in God or not, it is God who allows them to be blessed and allows them to endure hardship. It is God who decides who has what children and who does not. Without God, man can do nothing.

Without my God I would not be alive. He knitted me together in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:13). Even before I was formed in the womb, it was the Lord who knew me and set me apart (Jeremiah 1:5). What choice did I have in being born? What choice did I have in the parents God gave me? I could not have made any of these things happen of my own accord.

In the same manner, my children did not have a choice in their creation. Josh and I did not have a choice in their creation either. Josh and I had no power over weather God would make us fertile or infertile. We had no choice over weather all of our children would miscarry or be carried full-term. We had no control over what sex children God would bless us with, and we have no control over how many children God will allow us to have.

God has entrusted Josh and I with His children- His creation for a short time on this earth. I did not know my children before they were born, but God did. I did not choose which children God would allow me to raise, but my Father chose; their Father chose.

I believe we all have two specific reasons we were put on this earth. To become like Christ and to win others for God's kingdom (1 Corinthians 11:1 and 1 Corinthians 9:22 respectively). This calling starts at home. 

It is my job to make sure my children meet, get to know, and love their real Heavenly Father, eventually even more than they love me. It is my job to make sure that my children understand that they are not of this world (John 15:19).

So I challenge you, readers, to imitate God so that He can be reflected in your lifestyle so that your children might be saved. You cannot imitate God if you do not spend time with him or read his word. You cannot imitate God if you do not obey him, and you cannot imitate God if you do not serve others.

Our children are not our own. It is our job to be good stewards of these precious little gifts God has given us and to encourage our children's growth in Him.

Dancing in the Rain

I have never liked the idea of dancing in the rain. It's one of the big things they do in movies when two people love each other... it is usually portrayed as romantic, fun, and a thing somebody does when they're free.

I have danced in the rain by myself and with my man. It is not fun. It's wet and cold. When I've done it I couldn't help but ask myself what in the world I thought I was doing frolicking around in the freezing, cold rain pretending I was having the time of my life.

But as much as I hate dancing in the rain, I want to teach that skill to my daughter. I want to teach that skill to my son.

We all have storms in our lives. Sometimes God puts them there. Sometimes we do, and sometimes Satan initiates them.

The first thing I want to do when I hear a storm coming is snuggle down under my covers and hide. I don't want the windows open. I don't want to hear it, and I don't want to see it. I want to hide from storms. And I CERTAINLY do not want to go outside and stand in the middle of one and dance.

How often do we try do that with the figurative storms in our lives? It is much easier to preoccupy our hearts and minds than to deal with the storms in our lives. It's nicer to pretend they don't exist.

I believe God wants us to figure out how to dance in the rain of the storms in our lives. I believe he wants us to go out in the pouring rain with lightening flashing and thunder rumbling and lift our eyes and hands towards Heaven and spin around giving him praise for ALL of the things he gives and allows. We should give thanks for the storms we hate that ultimately bring new growth in our lives.

So how do you teach this concept to children? How do you make them understand what I even mean? Am I setting a good example? Do I practice this art of dancing in the rain in the midst of my life's storms?

How often do we curse God for the rain and storms that come in our lives instead of giving Him thanks? This week I challenge you to spend some time in thanksgiving for even those things in life that you would rather do without. I challenge you to be that weirdo out spinning around in the rain having people look at you like you're nuts. You can do it because you ARE free. If you have excepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you ARE free to dance in the midst of life's storms. No matter what.

What Do I Stand For?

FUN. Some Nights

The video above is not by a Christian artist. There's even a bad word in it towards the end, but I have  fallen in love with this song and some of the spiritual principals it makes me think of. (The real music starts after the minute-long intro.)

The first thing I noticed when I watched this video is how that little guy on there dances around. That's how I think we should all dance in church. That's how my soul dances before the Lord every day. Why does our flesh always contain the joy our spirits feel? This little guy does a silly, ugly kind of dance, that if he were doing before the Lord would be beautiful in his eyes.

The second thing I noticed when I watched this video was passion. You can see it all over the singer's face. He means every word he  sings... and, once again, it's not always the prettiest expressions he gives off!

I love having those times of intense prayer when I do more than my duty of praying for everybody on my prayer list. I love those prayers of passion, and I have to think that God does too. It's during those prayers when we finally let all of our defenses down and show God who we really are. We do not hide the good, bad, or the ugly... because we are never fooling God about who we really are. Only ourselves.

The third thing I liked about this song were the lyrics. The first set of lyrics were, "What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know."

What do YOU stand for? Do you stand up for Jesus Christ within the context of your family? Do you stand up for him at the grocery store, at church? What about when you look in the mirror?

The next set of lyrics are a bit longer. They go, "This is it, boys- this is war - what are we waiting for? Why don't we break the rules already? I was never one to believe the hype, save that for the black and white. I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style."

This IS it, friends. This IS war. You and are I soldiers fighting in one spiritual battle after another. This war may seem like a myth to some people, but it is real. Earthly "rules" suggest that we shouldn't be fighting it- they try to convince us that it doesn't exist, and that worldly desires are more important to fight for during our lifetimes. We need to break those rules and put on the armor of God. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12

The fourth thing I liked about this song is that I can really grove to it. It gets stuck in my head for days, and each time I am reminded of the question: What do I stand for?