Monday, December 12, 2011

For Joshua

 Josh and I, Summer of 2007

I want to write a bit and brag about my wonderful husband...

...but I just don't know where to start!

In six months, Josh and I will have been married five years. I am so glad I knocked on Josh's door six years ago and made my declaration that he had tools... and then proceeded to ask him if he thought he could fix my pipes.

Lucky for him, the pipe to the sink in my apartment had sprung a bad leak. Lucky for me, Josh is a terrible plumber and had to come back to my house to fix the said pipe three different times.

Before this pipe problem, my interaction with Josh had been limited to an interview I administered about him being in the Air Force. (This was a project for school. I saw him walking by in the Christian Campus House one day. I stopped him and asked him if he was in the military because he looked like the kind of guy who would be into that sort of thing. He said he was and I proceeded to administer my interview.) Our next interaction was going to a missionary convention together. I sat in the front seat with him on the way there and apparently spilled some sort of food/beverage all over him (I forgot about this until he told me after we were married). Apparently, I went home and told my mom about the weird, "old" guy who had driven us... not knowing it would be my future husband. (I had forgotten this until my mom told me after we had gotten married too!) Our last meeting was when I was helping a group of people build a potato gun. We needed a tool for something and nobody had one. Somebody said, "Hey, Gerrels has a lot of tools, let's ask him." I volunteered. They told me where he lived and I knocked on his door the first time asking for a tool to build our potato gun.

It wasn't a week later I knocked on that same door and asked if he could fix my pipes. I really didn't know him from Adam. I did not remember that he was the guy I interviewed about being in the military or the guy I slopped food on on our way to a missionary convention. I just new he had some tools

I am so glad I have never been too shy to ask for a favor, because God has blessed me so incredibly, tremendously more than I could have ever hoped for by allowing me to meet and marry my Joshua.

Our first four years of marriage have not been without their ups and downs. We got married, bought a house, and moved in together. I started a new school. He started a new job. He got laid off from his job. I had to transfer schools. We lived in a camper for a few months until he started another new job; we moved to a new town, got foreclosed on our house, and got behind on a lot of our debt... all in our first year of marriage.

During our next two years of marriage Josh worked many many 12 hour days (with a 45 minute commute each way) almost seven days a week with no overtime. I graduated college with five universities on my transcript and had zero luck finding a job. We drudged through and sought medical attention for a myriad of bizarre health issues... seeing almost every specialist there is besides a geriatrics doctor. We tried desperately to get caught up on debt to no avail, and then Josh got laid off again.

So our fourth year of marriage we moved again. Josh has worked like a mad man again (this time getting paid overtime), and I can finally say that all the debt we got behind on while trying to keep our house before choosing to go through the foreclosure process is not only caught up, but completely gone!! When my student loans are gone, we will finally be able to do the Dave Ramsey, "We're debt free!!" scream! Also during this fourth year of marriage we decided to pop out our first kid, and we loved our first little boy so much that we decided to pop out another, and our little girl is expected to arrive in just over three months!

Josh works hard. He does not complain. I was so proud to learn this morning that at work last night (he is working overnight shifts for the next year.... he traded his day shifts with a guy who was wanting them who has young kids and a wife who was just diagnosed with cancer.) Anyway, I found out this morning that at work last night, Josh received a 5/5 on his annual review. At Boeing, a 5/5 is almost NEVER given. Once received, it stays on your permanent Boeing record and follows you throughout your company career. His manager said he was his favorite employee and that there are not any points that he could possibly improve on as he was already doing absolutely everything anybody could ever ask. His manager told him that he wants to see Josh as a manager... good thing too since Josh is starting his masters in management next month!

I am so proud that the people at Josh's work acknowledge him as the wonderful man I know he is. I asked Josh if he made his other coworkers mad by receiving a 5/5. He said that several of them had asked if he had gotten one because they thought he deserved one. Wow! To be praised by your managers and your co-workers! I am so proud of you, Joshua! (If you ever read this...)

Josh doesn't just get the prize at work. He gets the prize at home. Josh has always been willing to work... and has been so blessed to find work in this terrible job market. He found temporary employment when he was laid off and our savings had run out. He worked a seasonal job at Sears one year when we were tight on money around Christmas. He has worked over 600 hours of overtime this year alone so that we can someday do the Dave Ramsey debt free scream and also prepare for babies!

At home, Josh keeps our cars running so that we don't have to have any car payments. He's even rebuilt a transmission from scratch! He helps me cook, he cleans the kitchen without ever being asked. Our trash is always taken out. I never have to worry about that or even give it one thought. He keeps our cloth diapers washed and ready to use. He even CHANGES those diapers when he's at home! And I never... ever... hear the man complain.

There is only one complaint that I have about my husband... that when I stand next to him I feel so inadequate in his comparison... but I believe this is the way God wants us wives to feel about our husbands; I do respect him with everything I have. We may be joined together as one, but he is certainly my better half!

I love you, Josh!

Monday, December 5, 2011

A Baby Girl!

Oh, how excited I am to have found out today that Josh and I are expecting our first little girl in April! I thought our first little boy was going to be a girl, and I had a hard time believing what the ultrasound showed me a year ago. Today, I went into this ultrasound convinced I was having another boy because I have had one clone of a pregnancy: pretty much no sickness at all...

But again I was wrong... however, despite my inability to predict my own kids' sexes, I have now accepted the fact that this new little baby will be a girl, and this evening I broke out all the cute little dresses and outfits Josh had me start buying almost three years ago. We are set on Baby's wardrobe for the first year of her life (minus pajamas and tights).

I think I have the baby furniture all picked out as well. If I can get it, it is a beautiful white set from Treasure Rooms. Right now it is on back order and wouldn't come in for several months, but I might still change my mind.

One of the things I am most happy about having a girl for is the fact that little girls grow up, move away, and then come home. Little boys just grow up and move away.

I have every intention of making Micah's wife my "best friend." If she is covered with tattoos, and I really don't like what she stands for, I will still show interest in what she enjoys and love the dickens out of her. I know the key to seeing my son is my daughter in law's like or disdain of me.

But having a daughter is different. Usually little girls grow up and continue to go home. Girls grow up and get homesick. Girls call their mom's when they have babies of their own to ask how it was when they were babies. Girls want advice from their moms. Mom's get to help plan their daughters' weddings.... mother in laws don't (normally) get to do that!

So I am so happy that I am having this precious baby girl. I was not expecting to get to have one this (well, really next) year. I am so excited to plan how I'm going to decorate her room. I'm excited to pick out her bedding and paint her walls. I'm excited to put her wonderful little dresses on those tiny white hangers (the only clothing I fold are the pajamas).

And as for the name... well, everybody will just have to wait until she's born to be introduced to her officially, but I have had her name picked out since before Micah was born... though I'm a bit unsure on the middle name.

Thank you, Lord, for my precious baby girl! Thank you for letting her be healthy and strong! Thank you for all her bouncing activity! Thank you for the technology you've allowed us man to create so that we can know so far in advance what sex our little babies will be! Thank you for the joy that is surrounding this new little soul of yours. Hold her and keep her safe all the days of her life. Thank you for choosing and loving her and for choosing me to be her Mommy!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Christmas!!

I thought I'd share a post about why I love Christmas so much. Why do I already have decorations in my yard and a Christmas tree in my window? Why do I start listening to Christmas music in August?

There is really one main reason why: I like things to be pretty. I'm not one of those people who decorate for every holiday or change of season, nor do I want to be. I don't have many knick knacks around my house to serve as decoration at all... but Christmas is a time when my whole house is beautified.... not to mention the whole town!

Around Christmas, my house is pretty. I burn Christmas candles and play Christmas music. It's the time of year for turkey, ham, pumpkin anything, meatballs, mini wienies, and cheese sauce. You see, Christmas is pleasing to almost all of my senses.

And then there's the people. What other time of the year do strangers greet you with a "Happy Holidays" and a smile? I say Merry Christmas back, but still enjoy the greeting. I love seeing people dressing up in their Christmas sweaters with little ornaments dangling from their ears. It is such a joyful time of year.

I love getting to spend time with family. I enjoy seeing everybody interact with their spouses- from my husband's 96 year old grandparents to my newly wed cousin. I love the screaming and hollering that is bound to go on in the Heimbaugh household... and the screaming and hollering that is bound to go on in the Gerrels household!

And, of course, I haven't forgotten the snow!! I just love the snow! I'm so happy that my husband's extended family is from Minnesota as it gives me an excuse to soak up negative 25 degree temperatures in six feet of snow and sweat it out in a kitchen that is far too hot from cooking all day!

I love exchanging gifts. I hunt for Christmas gifts to give people all year long. Most of all I enjoy exchanging and opening stockings.


 This is the first of probably four or five Christmas trees I will put up this year.
It has 1,600 lights on it, and it rotates.

 Lots of stuff stuffed into this tree!

 It's always fun to put something unexpected in a tree.

My tree toppers are usually big and nontraditional.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Micah's First Birthday Party

I know it seems a little bit early to be planning, seeing how Micah is only four and a half months old, but I like to be prepared.

Upon thinking about locations to host the party, I didn't see any reason why Micah couldn't celebrate his birthday at the same location he was born. A hospital isn't too weird of a place to host a first birthday party, is it?

So then I was thinking about gifts. What might Micah like? Since we were already planning on being at the hospital, I didn't see any reason why Josh and I couldn't give Micah a little baby brother or sister while we were there.

So that's the plan. On or around April 26, 2012 (yes, Micah's actual birthday) we are planning on celebrating at the hospital with his first baby brother or sister.

If you haven't figured it out, we are expecting number two on April 24, 2012 but figure it's so close to Micah's birthday, that we'll just say the new baby is due on the 26th.

So that's the news! No, this is NOT an accident baby. We knew we were able to conceive when we did, and are thrilled by this news. I am personally hoping for a little girl. Josh and Micah are, of course, hoping for a little boy.

I hope you're able to come celebrate Micah's birthday with him! I mean, it's not like you don't have enough notice. ;)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Akiane's Jesus

Does it make your heart skip a beat?
I don't have the right words to describe how this picture makes me feel. I feel calm, joy, excitement, encouraged, uplifted, peaceful... all at once. I also feel like he is not a "man" I'd ever want to cross!

This is a picture titled Prince of Peace painted by an eight year old, Akiane, who claims to have been to Heaven. I found out about her after "reading" Heaven Is for Real (actually, I listened to it on audiobook).

I really don't care if she is telling the truth or not. I personally believe that she is (and that the little boy in Heaven Is for Real is telling the truth as well).... but EVEN IF SHE ISN'T... I can't deny how her painting makes me feel.



Every picture I have ever noticed of Jesus gives me a similar reaction as the picture above. I just don't feel anything. I don't want to get to know the man in the picture more. I don't want to reach out and hug him and laugh and cry all at the same time. It's just another thing to look at that does not stop me dead in my tracks. (And then I feel guilty because I'm supposed to be looking at a picture of JESUS for crying out loud, why am I so emotionally unattached to him!?)

Akiane's picture of Jesus does make me feel all those things. When I look at the picture above, I do not feel like Jesus is my friend. When I look at Akiane's Jesus, I know that I have a friend, and he's not just waiting for me in Heaven, he is with me everyday! He is listening to me when I pray to him to help my baby feel better! He is listening to every trivial thing I tell him!

Thank you, Father! Thank you for opening the ears of a little girl who listened to your call to pick up a paint brush! Thank you for guiding her hands to draw your son! Thank you for letting another little boy, a stranger to Akiane, recognize your son from among hundreds of other illustrations of Jesus after he had seen his face "for real." Thank you for giving all of us here on Earth another image to look at when we try to imagine your face; one that renders so much emotion.... even if it is only rendered by me. Amen!

Monday, July 18, 2011

I heard a Beautiful Sound Today

And I saw a beautiful sight.

I decided to take Micah for a walk today around the neighborhood, pond, and park. There was only one girl at the park, and that NEVER happens, so I decided to stop and take a swing with my baby.

Now this girl was a biggen. Her dad was a biggen. She was sitting in a tire swing and so none of her limbs could reach the ground or any other object, so she was just sitting there not moving one bit.The only sound she made was to tell me that I had a cute baby.

Her dad was sitting on a bench outside of the park smoking a cigarette. She finally started to ask him to come and push her. He slowly got up and worked his way across the park and began pushing this great big, probably eight year old girl.

I wish I could have bottled up her laughter and listened to it when I was down in the dumps some day. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I could have heard at that moment. This girl who probably got teased and made fun of didn't have a care in the world when it was just her and her daddy in the park. The laughing never stopped until dad got tired and stopped pushing. After he did stop, she told him, "You're the best dad in the world!"

What a wonderful thing for a father to hear. What a wonderful thing for a child to feel.

What about you? How do you feel? When God looks down at you does he see his imperfect yet beautiful child going through life full of joy and thinking she has the "best dad in the world." I want to know that my God is the best God in the world, and I want to feel that innocent joy of a child, untainted by this cruel world.

Another beautiful sight that I saw was a mother and daughter playing in the little fountains that squirt out of the ground for little kids. The daughter was probably in her forties, and the mother was probably in her sixties. They were barefoot and having a great time.

When I am sixty I want to dance in the fountains with my daughter without a care in the world.

As I began my walk home I turned around and saw the two women walk away arm in arm, and a smile came across my face.

As you go about your day today, try and see the beauty in the world around you, after all, it's through that beauty that God speaks to you, and smiles back.

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made (even the laughter of a child), they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Romans 1:20 NLT

My Ten Favorite Things

My sister wrote a blog about her ten favorite things, so I thought I’d copy her and let you all know what some of my favorite things are. Not everything is listed, obviously- I really wanted to put playing the piano on this list too!! I couldn’t decide which order to put these in because they are all favorites; not many trump the other… so you will notice that they are in alphabetical order instead.


1)      Africa
If you know much about me you know that I have been talking about Africa for more than a decade. I first started thinking about Africa when I was eight. I went on my first mission trip to New York City with my church’s youth group. (My parents were chaperones, so I got to tag along by default!)

After I got back from the mission trip and went back to school, I remember looking at a map in our classroom. I wasn’t in my seat, but standing up and looking at a big map on the wall. I saw Africa. I had never studied Africa, or really heard much about it. I can’t explain the feeling I had. It was like Africa… that’s where I’m supposed to go. I went back to my seat confused and excited. What the heck was Africa? My heart was leaping with excitement about the country, and I didn’t know why.

Sixteen years later I still have that giddy feeling when I see a picture of Africa on a map. My heart leaps when I hear African drums. My day stops when I see a documentary about it on TV; it never matters which country is being featured. I have only gone for an extremely brief time, but my heart aches to go back. It is a feeling I have never adequately been able to describe to anybody… because even when I say it aloud to myself, it just doesn’t make one hill of beans of since.

You can read more about my brief trip to Africa by going to this link.

2)      Alone Time
Oh, I love alone time!! When I am alone it really doesn’t matter what I’m doing, I enjoy myself. I can be cleaning or sleeping, scrapbooking or vegg-ing.

I enjoy being around other people as well, and if I have too much alone time, I tend to become a grouch. (But to be fair, if I don’t get enough alone time I tend to become a grouch too!) Being alone gives me time to recharge and get ready to enjoy other people’s company again.

I have struggled with being a stay at home mother because it has almost been three months where I have not been alone one time for longer than about two hours, and even those hours of alone time were in a public place. I always have my little Micah with me now. I love him, but sometimes I just want to drop him off somewhere and be alone!! Time without Micah and time without Josh!

3)      Being Pampered
Who doesn’t like being pampered? I never really thought I would enjoy it until I actually had it done. I have had back massages several times. I knew I enjoyed those, but I looked at people who got pedicures and manicures and stuck up my nose at them. Who do they think they are that somebody else should have to work on their feet?? I went with my girlfriend and got a manicure for the first time, and when I was pregnant I got my first pedicure. I am hooked!

Someday I’d love to have somebody come into my home and do my hair and makeup every day. I don’t think this will every happen in this life, but maybe someday in heaven I will have a little hair dresser and makeup artist waiting for me in the mansion God is preparing for me!

4)      Cats
I have loved cats since I was little! I was trying to describe to Josh why I love them so much. I think it’s because they appeal to so many of my senses. They are beautiful animals. I love the way they feel when you pet their soft fur. I love the way they sound when they purr. I even love the way their little cat breath smells (gross, right!? Not for me!) So what is that? Sight, touch, sound, and smell. Cats appeal to four of my five senses. It’s no wonder I love them so much!

I do not have a cat right now as the last two cats I had were the first two cats my husband had. The old cat, Comet, was like 18 years old or something and had a hernia breaking through her skin. She got to where she would not use her litter box, and she was just disgusting before she died. Our second cat hated everybody except me and hid all the time. We left him at home for a week, and when we came back he had a terrible urinary tract infection and was peeing blood all over the house. We had to get rid of him because even after we got the infection cleared up he had stopped using the litter box.

Those two cats ended up not being a very good first introduction to cats for my husband. They were nasty. Plus, I’m allergic to them… but, oh, how I love them! Maybe someday we will have another little kitty. Preferably a Bengal or a Savannah!!

5)      Cleaning
Not many people can boast that they enjoy cleaning, but I am lucky enough to say that I do! I do not enjoy the mundane, never-ending tasks of just picking up. Stuff always needs picked up. Every day I have to fold the blankets, make the bed, clear off the table, etc. These tasks are hard for me to do because they are NEVER done, and they will never be done. That is frustrating for me.

Instead, I enjoy actual cleaning. It has instant gratification, and when it’s done, it’s done for a while! Just this morning I polished the leather in our car. Who does that? I love to vacuum, scrub a shower, polish furniture… I enjoy cleaning my home, I’ll enjoy cleaning your home… I’ll just ask that you’ll have the area you’d like me to clean PICKED UP before you invite me over!

6)      Horseback Riding
I really should have put playing the piano on this list instead of horseback riding, but I couldn’t help it. I think I enjoy horseback riding more than I enjoy playing the piano. I have only ridden a horse less than five times, but someday I’d love to own some, take real riding lessons, and actually ride a horse while it’s running.

7)      My Family
I have a Joyce Meyer tape where she is telling about how she and her daughter were “arguing” over who has the best husband. I think I should have been included in that argument because I think I have the best husband!!

Josh is such a hard-working person. I never hear the man complain. He doesn’t have to be told to take out the trash. Ever. If he thinks I need a break from the regular duties of the day, he doesn’t ask if I’d like him to do the dishes, he just does them.

He is so talented. He keeps all three of our junker cars running; our 18, 17, and newest 11 year old junker cars. I would rather have a junker that is paid for that Josh tinkers with to keep running than payments on a newer car. I will brag on him a bit… he has even rebuilt a transmission from scratch. THAT is talent!

I am so proud of my husband. He has served his country in the Air Force National Guard. And although he is not longer with his unit, he still does a brilliant job at serving his country.

I also love my precious Micah. He is such a blessing. I never thought it was possible to have such a perfect baby.

I love my parents, sister, and the rest of my very small extended family… I am just not going to write about that right now since this blog is already very long!

8)      My God
The more I read the Bible, the more I learn about my amazing God. He gave me my life, my amazing family, my wonderful husband, and my unbelievably perfect baby. I do not deserve any of the gifts he’s given me, but that is what is so amazing about him. I don’t have to.

My mom and I were talking about God the other day and what it means to be like him… do I love my neighbor because they are nice to me and bring me baked goodies, and tell me how wonderful I am? No. I love them first, before I even get to know them. I love them without any expectations, and I love them even when they are not a very good neighbor at all.

God loves me not because of how much I pray or how many hours I read my Bible. God doesn’t love me because I can go ten minutes or ten days without sinning. He loves me because he is God and he is love. He loves me when I don’t deserve it, and he loves me when I don’t understand him or why or how he loves me.

9)      Organizing
There isn’t much that I love more than staring at a giant pile of chaos and then turning that heap into an organized, functioning, orderly system. I love any type of organizing, from sorting beads and buttons to tackling a messy garage or basement.

Because of this love I started the “business” OrganizedChaos. I have only been hired by a couple individuals to help organize their lives; then I got pregnant and had a baby, but someday I’d like to gain more clients, get my business license, and really dive deep into this hobby. My ultimate dream would be to be hired by businesses to organize the flow of their offices. I helped Josh with this one time. He got to help design how his new offices would be laid out. Where should the copy machine go that would be in the most beneficial location for all of the employees? How should the desks flow? We designed a digital layout of the new office, complete with the locations and number of doors present in the office building. It was a really fun project and I could have tinkered with it for days.

10)  Traveling
I do not get to do as much traveling as I someday hope that I’m able to do. This doesn’t seem like a true statement if you read the last blog I posted about never being home, but someday I’d like to travel further than my parents’ and grandparents’ houses. I love waking up in a new place, and doing things native to that part of the land. So far my favorite place to wake up is in the rainforest, but there are a lot of places that I’ve never gone.

Each of these likes has seemed to have gotten shorter in its definition. However, a screaming, bored baby is pulling me away. I hope those last few likes made since as I was trying to write them and take care of Micah at the same time. He is demanding my undivided attention now though, so here I go!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I Shouldn't Complain...

But why else would I have started this new post!?

My little Micah will be three months old in 13 days. He is such a trooper. I don't understand why in the world God has blessed me with a child who has slept six and a half hours at night since he was two weeks old... a child who sometimes sleeps nine hours at night. I don't understand why I "deserve" a child who NEVER cries unless he needs to eat or burp. I can count on one hand the amount of times that he has cried when I haven't been able to figure out a reason.

So why am I complaining? I guess I'm a bit selfish. I love schedules. Micah has been on a schedule since the day we got him home from the hospital. My husband got me this AWESOME thing called an Itzbeen. It helps me keep Micah on a schedule without really having to think.

However, Micah and I have done A LOT of traveling since he's been born.What does traveling do to a baby? It throws him off his schedule. I don't mind if Micah eats before he is scheduled to when he is traveling, because I don't think others should have to listen to a fussy baby. (Editor's note: I am not crazy about Micah's schedule when he is at home. I always feed him early when it is obvious that he is hungry and not just bored!)

Where all have I/we been? Geez, I wish I had written it down.

We have made several trips to Rolla and/or Jefferson City to visit both sets of Micah's grandparents. Micah was babysat by my mother for a few days while I helped with disaster relief in Joplin. We have gone to Minnesota to visit his great grandparents and great uncle and aunt. We have gone to Wisconsin (within the same Minnesota trip) to look at a car- (Josh leaves tomorrow to go back up there and get that car by the way- I will stay in Jefferson City with his mother.) We are leaving for Oklahoma next week to visit my cousin. We are leaving for Alabama in two and a half weeks for a vacation that's been scheduled quite a long time.

Written all out like that it doesn't seem like very much traveling, but I guess the trips to my parents' house have been plenty, and we don't just stay for one day.

My husband is blessed to have a schedule where he works three days and then has four days off. He then works four days and has three days off. There is plenty of time for us to travel. Me sometimes alone with Micah, and me sometimes with Josh and Micah.

I have only been home one solid week (seven days) in a row since Micah has been born... except that first week he was born when I was in the hospital for three days.

I should feel grateful that I have so many  loved ones who want to spend time with me and Micah, and yet I find myself thinking- why won't anybody ever come visit him at our house?? I have invited people tons of times. Nobody ever comes. (Editors note: This is SO NOT TRUE! Everybody in our families who does not live in Minnesota has come to our house to visit Micah if they have physically been able to make the trip... I am just complaining, and saying how I feel!)

But like I said, I guess I'm just selfish, I know I have more time to travel than anybody else who I'm asking to come visit me and Micah.

So here's my rant: I am NOT sick of visiting with family or friends. I look forward to it more than any of them probably know. However, I am very sick of living out of a suitcase... coming home only long enough to do the laundry and pack it all up again. I am tired of Micah's schedule always being compromised for the sake of traveling.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go pack. We are leaving again when Josh gets home from work tonight!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Baby Story

I thought I'd take a bit of time to write about the story of Micah's birth while it's still somewhat fresh in my memory.

I wanted a completely natural birth with no medical interventions; however, this did not happen, but even though it didn't, I am very happy with my labor and delivery story.

My parents were up visiting on Easter weekend. I had been told a bunch of times by my mom how nice it would be for me to have an Easter baby (and convenient since they were already visiting!) Josh had been telling me for most of my pregnancy that he was expecting an Easter baby too.

As I was walking down the stairs to get ready to go to church at 8:30 Easter morning, my water broke. I told everybody that it looked like they'd be getting their Easter baby after all!

My dad did not want to go to church because I was obviously in labor. I said there was no need to stay home and that it could be hours yet, so we went to church and proceeded to have a nice day.

It was about time to go to bed on Sunday night and I had still not started active labor yet. I had an OBGYN already scheduled for the following Monday at 12:45, so I decided to go to bed. Josh was just sure that I'd have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night.

After having not started active labor by the time I got up in the morning, I called my OBGYN and asked if he wanted me to go ahead and come in early or wait until my 12:45 appointment. He wanted to see me first thing in the morning. While I was there he confirmed that my water had, in fact, broke. (Good! Because by this time Josh and my dad had stopped believing me!!) He told me that I needed to go to the hospital right away because I had been ruptured for more than 24 hours.

I didn't want to go in yet. I still had to go back home and get my hospital bags. I wanted the yard mowed, and a few last minute things done around the house. My parents and I took a walk while Josh mowed to try to start labor naturally. They then left for their appointment that they had come to Saint Louis for in the first place. Josh and I finished our things up at the house and headed to the hospital.

We checked into the hospital at around 1:30 pm on Monday, April 25. When I was checked at 2:00 pm I was 3 cm dilated. At 3:00 pm they put me on the antibiotics because I had been ruptured for 29 hours. At 4:30 pm I was 4 cm dilated and 80 percent effaced. I started having my own natural contractions at around 5:00 pm.

At 8:45 after talking with my doctor I agreed to start taking pitocine because I had been ruptured for 36 hours and had not progressed very far naturally.

I labored without pain medication until they told me that I was at least 8 cm dilated and at a 0 station. This was at 12:45 am. I continued progressing without pain medication until my doctor showed up at 2:30 am. He gave the bad news that I was only 6 cm dilated.

I was very discouraged when I heard this news. I was also in a lot of pain. I thought I had been feeling the urge to push, and here the doctor was telling me I was only a little over half way dilated.

I told the doctor to just "hack the kid out of me" The contractions were very strong and there was not hardly any time between them. They had been like that for almost three hours. (Thinking back, I wish I had made them take me OFF of the pitocin at this point- or sooner, but I wasn't thinking of it at that time.)

The doctor kept telling me that he would not do a Cesarean section, and that it was not necessary. (I had made it very clear in earlier conversations with him that I did NOT want one.) He suggested giving me an epidural to see if it would help me relax so that I could have the baby naturally. If I couldn't relax, then I would need the epidural for the c-section anyway. I was all for the epidural at this point.

They administered the epidural at 2:45 am. By 3:00 am I was 9.5 cm dilated.

At 4:15 am I began pushing.

At 5:03 am, Micah Edward Gerrels was born. 7 lbs, 10 oz. 20 1/2 inches long.

I gave birth 68 1/2 hours after my water ruptured. I was in active labor for approximately 12 of those hours, and I had an epidural for the last 2 hours of my labor/delivery.

It was not what I thought it was going to be like, but I had a great doctor who never made me feel pressured to make a decision that I didn't want to make. I was so happy that he chose to stay at the hospital and wait for me to progress "naturally" so that I could have a vaginal delivery as opposed to jumping at the opportunity to perform a C-section when I was asking him to perform one at 2:30 in the morning.

After all that, and after being around my little son, I am already asking Josh if we can have us a little girl next. I'm ready for another one now!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Pregnancy Update

Here I am at 37 weeks. I have something like 17 days left until my due date, and I think I'm ready. I want to repack my hospital bag into a much smaller one. Josh and I decided that the bag I had packed was ridiculous because I had a bag large enough to fit all my stuff PLUS two pillows. I think I'm going to pack a smaller bag and tote the pillows separately.

The baby's room is not finished being decorated. I can't find a picture that I want to be framed for in there. I am also still looking for a piece of furniture to put behind the crib that my leaves can stand on. The furniture is arranged, and the drawers are filled. I still need to find something to put the used cloth diapers in before they are taken down to the basement at the end of the day.

The only complaint I have is back pain. I get sick of it, but I can't complain too much because this pregnancy has been some sort of miracle-kind of easy! I get tired of taking hot baths, but it helps relieve the back pain temporarily. I'm going to be so clean when I go in for delivery!

I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother yet or not. I don't mind the waiting at this point because these are the last days in many years where I will get to be home alone. These are the last days that Josh and I will have the freedom to do whatever we want without having to consider a kid first. I love these last days.

But I am also looking forward to having a new little boy in our lives. I can't imagine what it will be like. Mostly I am looking forward to seeing all of my family after the baby is born and getting to see the excitement on their faces when they hold their first grandson, or nephew, or great grandson!

I can't believe that all of the preparation is done, and all that's left to do is have the baby. Time goes by so quickly.

Friday, February 4, 2011

A Picture I Took

I have slim pickings on the pictures I've taken since I'm too lazy to get my zip drive out of my purse and put it into my computer, so I'll have to select from something that's already on my laptop. We lost A TON of pictures because I dropped our external hard drive. Josh can't get it to work, and usually he's pretty savvy about things like that. :( I wish I could upload an Africa picture or two, but all of my files say they are corrupt, and I don't know what to do about that either..... let me see what I can find.


Okay- I have to dig out the zip drive.

I wish somebody would make me some spaghetti. I'm hungry... but oh so home alone.

Alright! I took this picture when I was in Ecuador. I think it's pretty self explanatory; I took it because I thought it was really pretty.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Five Things I Couldn't Live Without

I think I've put this post off long enough. I just couldn't come up with anything. So here's the boring answer: I couldn't live without air, water, food, clothes and shelter. That's it. I don't have any other things that I "couldn't live without" I guess a "holy" person would also include a Bible on the list... but I could live without a Bible like much of the world does. God said in his Bible in Job 12:7-9

7 “But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
   or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
8 or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
   or let the fish in the sea inform you.
9 Which of all these does not know
   that the hand of the LORD has done this?


I believe God has made a way through nature for people to learn who he is and that a Bible is not a necessity for living. Now don't get me wrong- I think it's a very important part of life, but I do believe that people who never get the opportunity to read God's word are not just damned because of it.

We as Americans are too focused on stuff. I get so sick of stuff. So much of the world does not have three couches in their three story home like Josh and I have. I use this as a tiny example of how unnecessary so many things in our lives are. Three stories is not a necessity. Three couches is not a necessity... and yet- when house hunting- three stories was on my list of "needs." I had to get the three couches to fill the space in the three floors.

I love my stuff just like every American. I love that my washer and drier is on the third floor where all three of the bedrooms are. I don't want to live without the luxuries of my stuff...

But I do know that absolutely NONE of it is necessary.

And I must say... it is quite a freeing feeling to look around your beautiful and home and enjoy all of your stuff, but feel just as happy to give it all away. I think I am finally at a place in my life where I am able to enjoy my things while also knowing that they are luxuries and not needs. I do not feel guilty for having pretty things or several seemingly unnecessary things.

I'm going to go because during this whole blog I've been watching Mrs. Doubtfire, and I've had to keep reading and rereading what I've written... hopefully this blog makes since!!