Anna Vi Gerrels

I had a baby last week. She was small and innocent, but God's breath of life had been taken out of her. She was already home with our Heavenly Father, even before I got to meet her.

We named her Anna Vi.

I will miss her in so many ways. I will miss getting to feel her kick and grow inside of me. I will miss getting to see what color hair and eyes she had. I will miss getting to see what type of personality God blessed her with. I will miss getting to see the man she would have fallen in love with and gaining him as another son in our family. I will miss getting to see her as a mother. I will miss getting to have her as a friend.

But with all this sadness and earthly loss, I am also happy for my daughter. I am so happy that she is already face to face with the King of Kings. I am happy that she has been adopted by the Father of fathers. I am happy that she gets to miss out on the things her earthly parents would have done wrong. I am happy that she gets to miss out on the trials and pain of this world.

I thank the Lord that He has now blessed me with the ability to understand and comfort so many women who have lost little babies of their own. I thank Him that He saw Anna's unformed body and that  her days were ordained for her and written in God's book even before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16)

Most of all, I thank the Lord for His wonderful peace that passes understanding- such a "church-y" phrase that has come to mean so much to me.