"We're Having a Baby... My Baby and Me!"

That's right! For the two or three of you who actually read this blog, I thought I'd finally write about being pregnant since most everybody knows about the upcoming events in May by now. (Except Josh's extended family, who we will tell at our house on Thanksgiving.)

Below is a link to a song I like from the I Love Lucy show when Ricky finds out he's going to be a father for the first time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQtjSm9p-hA

So what's it been like for me to be pregnant? And how did it all happen, anyway?

Well, it's not been too bad, actually.

Josh and I had been planning for over a year to start trying for a baby in August 2010. The main reason we had to wait is because of my diagnosis of Graves Disease; the testing required me to ingest radioactive iodine pills, which I had to wait six months to a year before getting pregnant after taking.

By August all of my blood tests came back perfect and we decided to have a go at making that baby!

SUCCESS!! On Wednesday, August 25 I woke up and just knew that I was pregnant. I left Josh sleeping and went down to the Wal Mart and got a pregnancy test. I took it downstairs and saw the little plus sign. I couldn't believe it. I saw the positive sign and still couldn't believe it. I went upstairs and woke Josh up and asked him to come downstairs with me. I just showed him the stick and told him congratulations. It wasn't very romantic. For some reason (even though we were trying to conceive) I just wasn't very excited. Because I just couldn't believe it.

I had my first OBGYN appointment something like two weeks later. They did the test and was giving me my first exam when I asked what the results were. The doctor said that he didn't know what the results were, but that he assumed they were positive because when they aren't the nurse informs him before meeting with a patient. I had my first ultrasound that day and saw (and heard) the heart beat for the first time. Yup. There was a little kiddo in there.

And now, 14 weeks into the pregnancy, I still just can't believe that there's a kid in there! It is the most frustrating feeling! I am not excited. I don't feel an urge to get the baby's room ready or to purchase necessary baby items. I'm just stuck in a world of.... I know the doctor says there's a baby in there... I know I have two ultra sound pictures of it... and I know I haven't had any periods, but there just CAN'T be a baby in there!! How is that even possible!! I don't FEEL any different!

I wish I did feel different!

Josh told me over a year ago to go ahead and start buying baby clothes and maternity clothes so that we wouldn't have such a huge expense all at one time after I got pregnant. I probably have enough clothes to last either sex of child one year... I swear, I was more excited about having a kid a year ago when I was shopping for those clothes and I knew I couldn't have a baby than I am now when I know I'm expecting one!!

The other big question is have I been sick?

Not really. I have been really lucky- or God has blessed me outrageously by having me not be very sick. Mind you, MOST days I feel like I'm going to throw up, but don't. Most days I am starving, but the sound of any food just makes my stomach churn. I have had a few days/weeks where I have actually thrown up... but they have been very few and far between.

My second month of pregnancy or so was riddled with gas pains, constipation, and diarrhea. Not fun. I also suffered from lower back pain.

As far as food aversions go, I know Baby It does NOT like the following foods; i.e. I get sick if I eat them... Mexican and anything sweet... and when I say anything sweet, I had ketchup that I couldn't stand to eat because it was "too sweet." Most recently I have learned that I cannot drink any orange juice either. Which is a shame. I like it and drank it a whole bunch during my first trimester.

I have actually felt worse my second trimester than I did my first trimester. I know, I know- this is opposite of how most people are during pregnancy. I have felt more nauseous and much more low on energy these past few weeks than I did during my first three months.

I am still waiting for a baby belly that is visible to the untrained eye. I have an appointment this Thursday where I'm hoping to learn that I've gained at least a couple of pounds, but I doubt it. I've only lost weight since I've been pregnant, so I have some ground to catch up before I can actually start gaining weight- but who in the world would complain about that!?

I have asked my mom many times when I would start feeling pregnant or actually believe that there's a kid inside of me. She said that it probably wouldn't really sink in until a few months after I've had the baby. How can I prepare for something I have never done before? How can I have any idea what it feels like?

I am afraid, though I don't really know what I'm afraid of. I know Josh will be an amazing father, and I know I am a very capable mother... I just hope I'm good enough. My mom sent me a card and in it she reminded me that God choose Josh and I to be the parents of this baby. Of all the people in the world, God choose us. It is an exciting and humbling thought to know that I am the only one in the world expected to be this baby's mother. Of all the billions of women. I was the one chosen to be THIS baby's mother.



On a different note, I do continue to be excited about Christmas! I started to set up one of my Christmas trees today, though I still have to go to the store and purchase one more strand of lights before I really get to decorating it. This year I have a tree spinner that makes the tree glisten as it turns it. (The tree has fake ice on it... not fake snow... fake ice.) It is just beautiful!



Enjoy your day, and enjoy decorating YOUR homes for Christmas!! And to my one or two mothers out there who might read this, when did you realize -for real- that you were going to be a mother. Will I start believing it more as I get bigger?